Journal Entry #1
The Inner Part Of Me: My Journey to Healing
I started this blog to process my life and figure out how to move forward now that I've been diagnosed with hEDS. Along with hEDS, I've had Modular Kidney Disease for most of my life. In past posts, I've shared how I've always felt like I never quite fit in.
When I was in school, very few people knew I was sick. Friends and classmates would ask why I skipped class so much, and I'd lie, saying, "I just felt like it." I didn't want them to know the truth about me. When people find out you're sick, they tend to treat you differently. They don't mean to, but it just happens.
Now that I'm older, I've learned to be honest with people, and you know what? People will surprise you. They show such understanding and sympathy. If I have to cancel plans suddenly or if we don't see each other for a while they know it's not them; it's me. They understand that I do care about them and their time, but I simply can't do it all.
After sharing all of this, I want to introduce you to a new part of my blog: my healing through journaling. Keeping a journal has helped me in so many ways. I started journaling in college, and it has truly changed my life. I implore you, if you've never journaled, you should start. It can help clear your mind of all the useless clutter and process emotions you didn't even know you had.
Journal Entry #1
Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to wake up with a clear mind, plenty of energy, and pain-free.
Thank you that I'm starting to have more good days than bad days.
Thank you that I'm losing weight and have the strength to start exercising again.
"What begins with belief in Jesus in the heart is expressed through trust in Him by our choices and actions, sustained by confident assurance in His character, and established by loyal allegiance to Him and His Kingdom, and it will ultimately result in life in all its fullness." (The Life-Giving Parent, Chapter 6, Pg 110)
The Life-Giving Parent written by Sally Clarkson is a book that has changed my life and parenting style in so many ways. It doesn't teach discipline techniques or how to be a "better" parent in the conventional sense. Instead, this book teaches how to bring peace into your home through Christ and His Living Word.
When I read the quote above, it makes me think about how, as Americans, we don't fully understand the concept of a king and his Kingdom. I'm currently reading 1776 by David McCullough, and his multiple references to how we "Yankees" went against the throne, and how the Loyalists were so shocked that we would turn against the king, really resonates with me.
This book draws a great parallel to the world today. There are believers who worship the one true King and have fully given their lives to Christ, and non-believers who turn against our Heavenly King and follow sin.
Complement Your Basic Faith With:
Passionate Patience
Reverent Wonder
Generous Love
Lately, I feel as if my life is lacking direction. Landon will be starting back to school soon. Jon is working, and I'm not as sick as I once was. All of these combined mean my days are mostly free. When reading books like Playing With Fire by Lawrence O'Donnell and 1776 by David McCullough, I see just how young people are who do great things. The generals in the Continental Army were my age. John F. Kennedy was in his 40s when he became president. As I near 40, I wonder where my life is headed. Will I do great things, or will I allow my sickness to dictate how I live my life?
A Prayer for Jon
Lord, please keep Jon safe as he drives home in this extreme heat. I also pray that they will be able to fix the air conditioning in his car.
We've tried a couple of times before to have the A/C fixed in his car with little luck. Now that we live in Florida, it's more important than ever that we get it fixed.
My mind keeps racing, imagining the worst possible scenario with his upcoming mini-deployment. Friendly fire accidents do happen, or just accidents while training in general. I pray for his safety while he is away. We need him. I need him.
Calm my anxiety and fear, remove this worry from my mind.
Lord, in your mercy, hear my prayers.
Comments
Post a Comment